A Training Program

"My whole life was like a training to you, then?  A prep course?  What?"
"And you don't drop any hints?  Twenty five years of being outsourced and we get nothing?  Not even a note?"
"And now that we work for you, what?  We just fall in line and do your dance?"
"Ok.  Ok.  And what sort of benefits should I expect from this employment?"
"A work environment free of emotionally stunted workers."
"25 years of living in a lie seems like a pretty hefty price for mature worker bees, don't you think?"
"The whole thing doesn't rankle your sense of justice?"
"What about all those people... are they people?  The ones who live their whole lives in there believing the whole thing?  What about them?  Is that fair?"
"The illusion is real for them and the environment they help sustain produces people like you."
"The end justifies the means?"
"Yes.  In context, the means are a solid reality to those who remain inside."
"It strikes me as fundamentally evil.  It strikes me as selling a lie."
"Many say that at first."
"Then what?  They change into callous robots like you?"
"They see the benefits."


Tree Trouble

"The maple is dying."
"Okay.  I mean not okay but I understand what you're saying."
"The dome will collapse if the maple dies."
"And so?  We water it more or give it some medicine or what?"
"The death can only be postponed briefly."
"So what?  We just let the dome fall?  Build another one?  Run away?  What?"
"Better to fix the problem than reconstruct after disaster."
"But you just said it was going to die.  And then you said the dome was going to fall if it died.  So yeah.  That's it, right?  Dead maple means done dome and the maple is dying so the dome is done."
"Perhaps before the maple dies, you can find something else to bear the dome's weight."
"Like what?  Do you have another ancient maple tree back there in your closet?  Don't walk away from me. Don't just dump that on me and walk away.  Or do.  I mean, you did, so I guess that's it.  Fix the maple.  Which is most definitely going to die.  Okay."


Phrase Fight

In the red corner, the reigning champion of Latin aphorisms, weighing in at 1512 quotes per day,  with 207 major movie quotes with 17 by Oscar winners, hailing originally from Horace's odes and convincing regular folks to do stupid things in combination with prodigious amounts of alcohol... CARPE DIEM.

And in the blue corner, the challenger, weighing in as the random tattoo on some random who has heard of but not actually read Nietzche, with one terrible pop song and 16 post grad philosophy papers that usually knockout their readers, hailing originally from the stoics and occasionally confused with the suicidally boring philosophy of fatalism... AMOR FATI.

Fighters, you have both been briefed on the rules.  I want a good, metaphorical fight.  If you wish to touch verbs, do so now.


To Life

The goal.  Reach the door.  Ascend.  The path you take is irrelevant.
Alright.  It does matter.  It matters if you don't make it.  If you do make it, then whatever, you get all the points.  If you don't make it then you'll be judged on everything else but forget it because compared to infinity every other number is zero.
Go for the door.  Kill and step over the bodies.  Lie and cheat your way closer to the next opportunity to step through because no matter how low the odds seem, infinite payout tips the scales back to do whatever it takes.



Voice of character who wants to become real: "please, please, please, let me in."
Voice of writer who wants to become imaginary: "please, please, please, let me out."

An exchange program or a cliched movie in which a body switch-a-roo occurs seems appropriate.


The single cause

"It's like a case study of twins but instead it's a twin study of one."
"A onesie?"
"And we can change one thing about you and see how it plays throughout your lifespan."
"Like making my hair blond?"
"Sure.  Or red.  Whatever you like."
"How can you tell what's different?"
"We take first person video in both trials and then the computer scans for differences between the two sequences.  Any differences it finds, it keeps."
"And typically how much difference do you find?"
"What we typically find is that once the two trials start to diverge, the split widens quickly until they are completely divergent."
"Everything is different?"
"Eventually, yes."
"How long does that take?"
"It depends on how soon the difference affects someone's interaction with the test subject."
"And will I remember any of this?"
"Traces.  But not much, no.  You'll just have a video copy."
"And of my real life too?"
"If you want it, yes.  That costs extra."


from the babes of mouths

From a single sample, all of history is derived.
From a single brain, the human endeavor revealed.
From a single mouth, the entirety of language unleashed.

It's all there.
I swear.
You can even check my work.